Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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