Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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