Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize