do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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