dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I feel like death gave me a hand job
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
