don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The adults are the big ones right?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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