just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
