My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
