pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
