I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
