i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
