I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
These tits shall not be calmed
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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