I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize