Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You have to summon your inner elephant
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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