i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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