Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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