I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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