i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
