this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My penis needs a shock collar
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
