and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize