i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
