I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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