you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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