I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
