im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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