just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I have post one night stand depression
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