Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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