There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Pooping to opera.
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