I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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