hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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