pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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