i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize