did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize