Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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