i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
