so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
