So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
