3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
