Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
