I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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