I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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