the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
