You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i think i have herpe
just one?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
