Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
