No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
