My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
