Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
