I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
