Your face is a jimmy john
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
