"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
