Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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