this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Every concussion has its silver lining
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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