Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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