i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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