He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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