We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
