these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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