No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
