Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
