my mouth tastes like poor choices
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
