The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize