well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
