She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
